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To understand why I love homebirth so much is to explain my own personal experiences, I had 2 wonderful birth experiences at home after a very traumatic first birth after IOL for preeclampsia. While I needed the medical input the issues and trauma that arrived could have been prevented by the power of the language used, things not being fully explained and choices not been given. I felt unsafe, unsupported and alone. I went on to find some healing birth experiences and although I needed some medical support from the midwives as I didn't have straight forward home births I will say the benefits from being at home were huge. I also had midwives attend with me for this reason if needed they can act in the best interests of the woman and the baby and support me to have healthy births.
I'm currently a Doula and well I love it, I work with families no matter what their choice of birth environment is but I am definitely a huge home birth advocate and have been for many years.
My tales of home birth span over the last 11 years, From my own home birth leading into setting up a free homebirth support group with my very close friend (also a midwife & homebirth mummy), working alongside some amazing and inspiring midwives as a support worker - MAMA prior to my doula journey.
Reflecting on all the home births I've been to, whether they were long, short, fast, loud, peaceful, transfers into hospital, water births, land births, supported by midwives or birthed fully without any hands on, they all have some similar things in common from my reflections.
All the homebirth families made informed choices to birth at home, they read up, they questioned, they got education and support. These may have been “high risk” women who declined to follow that pathway. They all have similar stories of how people have met them with the quotes like “your brave” “is it safe though” when sharing the home birth plan. These families are not reckless and don't plan to be unsafe. Birth is also not a medical emergency and often happens if we take a step back.
I have also found that they all went into labour and birth much more relaxed, the hormones allowed them to do their job while the mothers rested, ate, danced, walked, cleaned, watched funny films, chatted or even at recent birth we were watching the Queen's funeral.
Pets and other children could be in the home or sent off to family or friends. Dads and partners seem so much more in control of the environment, feeling free to make food and drinks, walk around and support the mother in the birth process. They are more confident and take a place next to the birthing woman, they shelter and care for them without feeling a little in the way.
I have been able to learn from some just amazing midwives along my own journey, the biggest things being able to watch a woman and see the body and her change through the journey. When you sit back and just become very Intune and see these changes it never stops amazing me how truly powerful and strong women are when they birth. Birth is incredible and very instinctive being in your own home really allows for you to go within and find these powers. The emotions of when the baby is born, the pride and sheer elations of what they have just done is just breath-taking and a lot of the time a very emotional moment in time. Time almost stands still during the last throes of labour and early birth/ postnatal time.
Watching and waiting was something I really did get taught from my team at one to one midwives, they would show me all the signs things were moving and changing. They would advocate and support the families choices, giving them time to process and make evidence based choices. I will never forget one such birth where things I thought were going quite well and baby would be born soon, things then changed slowed and stopped. The midwife explained to me that we will get her fed and give her a drink, pop her in bed with the lights low, her partner could snuggle up with her keeping some oxytocin flowing and allow her to rest, This rest and be thankful stage would give her the energy she needed to birth. We went home and the midwife said I will call you in a few hours, she will birth fast, and she did I woke up to the call you coming baby catching, these calls were always in whispers the excitement would fill and i'd be up dressed and driving through the night to support the midwives and families. This lady had a beautiful fast water birth, the midwife knew, not from examinations but from watching from many years experience of home births and truly being with women.
I can safely say a number of births have made me cry. I'm a person who is emotional but the hardest thing I ever see is siblings meeting their new brother or sister. They make my eyes leak! The excitement especially when the other kids have stayed fast asleep not knowing the story unfolding below, the mother who roars her baby into the world, then will slowly move into the living room to be checked after birth, had some food and a hot drink let that adrenaline slow, who gets ready to welcome her other children who now seem so big and grown. I know one birth id has not even released the grandparents and siblings were even upstairs.
I have been at a number of births and none have been the same, the home environment allows much more space for families to move, use pools, bath, shower, the bed, sofa, the stairs ( I have defiantly supported many mums to use the upstairs loo over the downstairs one, these steps are your friend). Lots of mothers will go to the bathroom and stay put, the dark, small safe space and opening of the pelvis can all support the birth of a baby.
Water birth provides this space as well. Mothers feel almost covered and move quite a lot in a pool, it brings warmth and relaxation. A number of times i've seen this power of relaxation the water has, when the woman sinks away between her sergues and fully follows her body.
When you're welcomed into someone home and able to watch and support a new family member being birthed however that birth goes, it feels like such an honour to be part of something very natural and special of our human nature. As a doula I support the family however they need, my last role was much more clinical and under midwife instruction now my focus is much more family based which I love.
Just holding space sounds so simple but can really change a birth.
I have many funny stories from my home births from dads being sick at my making a placenta smoothie, to rushing to fill a birth pool with pans of hot water. Rushing to a birth to be stood on the doorstep in the rain hearing the birth unfold on the other side(door locked). I've spent time unplugging pumps cloaked with membranes. One wonderful mama stopped birthing to ask if I wanted a brew! I have had babies born to nirvana and piano music. Large and small ones, babies who needed more support to birth and ones who just came fast or slow. Every woman is different and every birth is unique.
Of course these are just my personal reflections and I have limited hospital birth experience. Although I've heard many stories from many families. I fully believe in the team being able to make or break a or birth journey.
I love home births and hope to be able to support them for many more years to come. I also thank every single family and midwife who has supported, taught and welcomed me.
Kat- Doula at Mama Magic 2023
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